Malinger - The Entries

malinger, v.
 To pretend or exaggerate illness in order to escape duty or work; to feign or produce physical or psychological symptoms to obtain financial compensation or other reward. (Originally used of soldiers and sailors.)



Malinger
On contemplating the medical
dangers of Word of the Week

Oh my gosh,
I hurt my finger.
Is this reason
to malinger?

Finger's worse --
maybe infection
Hone my illness
to perfection.

Oh my God!
My finger's blue.
Panic! Angst!
What will I do?

Calm your nerves,
says Dr. Sven.
Your "gangrene"
means a leaky pen.

-Doug Vaisey



Malinger
As I lay in bed one morn
My thoughts ran through my list to do.
There was ma laundry, ma cleaning, ma groceries, and more!
I got so weary at the thought
I opted to malinger where I lie.

Brenda Bentley



Malinger
John Munroe Faker

I’ll tell you a story about my brother. 
Malinger should have been his middle name.
For when supper was done and the chores doled out
His excuse is what led to his fame.

His words were so blunt.
“I’m gonna barf!” he would yell.
That chameleon could make his face turn green.
At that, my mother would whisk him away, leaving my sister and I to clean.

Clang, bang, go the dishes, the pots and the pans.
Clang, bang, we scour, dry, and shelve them away.
Our work now complete, silence settles upon the place.
And we know, yes we know,  his recovery is well underway.

Our dear  brother, John Munroe Faker.

-Nancy Wilson



Malinger
I really did cut my little finger
When I made my rye and ginger
As I listened to the singer….
Doya hafta
Doya hafta
Doya hafta let it malingerrrrrr

-Sue Cannon



AND THE WINNING ENTRY IS...


Malinger

A phone call.

“Hello Sue? It’s Trish…

Not good, not good at all…

I’m calling in sick today…

Why? Well, ‘cause I have a paper cut on my finger!

What? Malinger? Hmph! I DO NOT malinger!”

*Uttering under breath* “at least I’m not dipsomaniacal”

-Trish Grelot


Congratulation Trish!  First entry ever!  A natural!

This Week's Word is: Malinger

Doxology - The Entries

doxology, n.

A short formula of praise to God, esp. one in liturgical use; spec. the Gloria in excelsis or ‘Greater doxology’, the Gloria Patri or ‘Lesser doxology’, or some metrical formula, such as the verse beginning ‘Praise God from whom all blessings flow’.

Dogsology: the utterance of praise of dog

Now thank we all our dog
With Hartz and Iams and Ballard,
At wonderous sniffs for rot,
His doggie nose rejoices.
Who from his kennel farm
To us has found his way,
To sit at table, stare
And mooch what scraps he may.

To be sung to the music of Felix Mendelhound.

-Doug Vaisey



AND THE WINNING ENTRY IS...

Doxology 101

Take a deity. Call him or her God.
         Devote a millennium to religious mythology
                  Boil down the theology into memorable units
                           Make songs out of the units
                                    Repeat the songs endlessly in public.
                           Export the songs through foreign missions
                  Start missions at home
         Bring your outreach to the seaports
Now you have a docks-solid doxology

Send your donation to Missions for Seamen today.

-Doug Vaisey


Yep, you read it right.  Doug is the winner again, and was in competition with himself.

I'm going to chalk this lack of involvement up to the long weekend interruption.   

This Week's Word is: Doxology

Dipsomaniacal - The Entries

dipsomaˈniacal, adj.

To be affected with a morbid and insatiable craving for alcohol, often of a paroxysmal character. Also applied to persistent drunkenness, and formerly to the delirium produced by excessive drinking.

Dipsomaniacal
I went to the seashore
to dip in the water.
I thought of cavorting
like dolphin or otter
The beach was ablaze
with dazzling sunlight
but the water was freezing.
It didn't feel right.
My fear of pneumonia
seemed hypochondriacal.
So I ran up and dove in
-- a dip, so maniacal.

-Doug Vaisey



Dipsomaniacal
If you are lactose intolerant, you are, ipso facto, anti-lacto, eh.
If you crave '80s music, then you are, ipso facto, disco-whacked-o, dude.
If you need a drink a day, then you are, ipso facto, dipso, man.
I - aahh - call that a consequence of the Word of the Week contest!

-Sandra Hamm



Dipsomaniacal

-Nancy Wilson



Dipsomaniacal
As the saying goes “beer before wine, everything’s fine”.I started with beer.
So, then I had sum wine.
Notsosure when I shtarted wi the rum
Boy tha wuz sum. Fun. Rum.
Didnt make it to tha tequila atal
So I guessi’m not dipso *hic* manmanman iacal
An another thing how come jus cuz I like a likkle ouzo, everyone calls me dipso?

-Sue Cannon



Dipsomaniacal
Our Jessie went on a Himalayan trek last summer.   One of the way stations she stayed in was the remote town of Manali, one of the few places where visitors enjoy the local sport of yak skiing (you could look it up).  The skier, she observed, begins at the bottom of the hill.  First shaking and then spilling on the ground a basket of local nuts, the great beast’s master entices the peckish bovine to race down the side of the hill—and up the hill the skier is pulled.
Our Jessie, ever the curious little thinker, wondered about the connection between the nuts and the yak’s downward venture.  “Perhaps,” she pondered aloud, “The shaking sound simply brings the Yak’s attention to the lower ground that needs to be explored; perhaps Yaks naturally flow downhill; perhaps…”
The helpful guide, wishing to shut her up even for a moment, said, “Let’s try a little experiment.”  And so he went to the top of the hill, shook the nuts and scattered them about up there, whereupon the hairy mammal ran right back up the hill.  “Ipso facto*”, he said, “The Yak follows the nuts.”
Ever the wit, and perhaps a little miffed, Jessie replied, “Well, the Yak dipped  downhill, in so doing reversed the normal order of things for the skier, so might not it be more accurately said of the nuts, “Facto dipso, main yak call?”

*I know, I know, but in a rarefied mountain atmosphere, herders sometimes confuse philosophical terms.

-Ken Clare




AND THE WINNING ENTRY IS...

Dipsomaniacal
They stood, on stilted legs,
their bright beaks glistening
with liquid light,
bobbing,
bobbing,
bobbing
in endless insatiable motion.

It's so unfair.  When dipping birds
in trinket shop windows can
drink,
and drink
and drink yet more and stand
on stilted legs, unphased by intake.

Yet I, on stilted legs
at the bar will wobble and fall
after bobbing,
bobbing,
bobbing
into the booze.

Why can the plastic toys
dip so maniacly
and bow like unaffected oil field pumps
and when I do it
I become a dictionary parody
- dipsomaniacal.  Quick
there must be some Scotch
left in my lower drawer.

-Doug Vaisey


Congratulations Doug!

This Week's Word is: Dipsomaniacal